There are two questions that we have to ask ourselves. The first is ‘Where am I going?’ and the second is ‘Who will go with me? -Dr Howard Thurman
The questions above have to be asked in that order or else you will be in serious trouble in life. I am saying so because if you ever start by choosing the person you want to go with before even knowing where you are going and what sort of requirements you will have in your journey is not a clever move at all. Though the questions appear very simple but they are not easy.
The first question ‘Where am I going’ is very critical in that it is linked to you knowing yourself first. Socrates said know thyself for that very reason. If you don’t know yourself, your life will really be a painful experience. We spend so many years studying about how the world works and about things in general but never study ourselves.
WHY AND WHERE DOES SELF-KNOWLEDGE MATTER?
Self-knowledge is important for one central reason: because it offers us a route to greater happiness and fulfilment. A lack of self-knowledge leaves you open to accident and mistaken ambitions. Armed with the right sort of self-knowledge, we have a greater chance of avoiding errors in our dealings with others and in the formulation of our life choices.
Without self-knowledge, we are too vague about our ambitions; we don’t know what to do with our lives and – because money tends to be such an urgent priority – we lock ourselves into a cage from which it may take decades to emerge. We don’t know what we shouldn’t attempt. We lack a clear sense of our limitations, wasting years trying to do something we’re are not suited to. Without self-knowledge, we are, in general, a liability to be around. We don’t realise the effect we tend to have on other people: without at all meaning to, we might come across as arrogant or cold, or as tending to hog attention or as needlessly shy and hesitant or as getting angry in dangerous ways. You live your life liking things because others like them rather than for deeper personal reasons.
WHY IS SELF-KNOWLEDGE SO HARD TO COME BY?
There are a couple of reasons why this is the case. Let me share this critical one with you.
Other people won’t tell us.
There are many aspects of our identities that it is simply hard for us to see without the help of another person. We need others to be our mirrors, feeding back their insights and perspectives on the elusive, hard-to-see parts of ourselves. However, getting hold of data from others is a very unreliable process. Very few people can be bothered to undertake the difficult task of giving feedback. This explains why you need a professional life coach who will give you feedback you need to hear for your development.
People may dislike us too much and therefore can’t be bothered. Or they like us too much, and don’t want to upset us. Self-knowledge can only evolve as a result of dialogue with the world.
Let me ask you this critical and life changing question which I am certain will help you understand what this article is about regarding the importance of Time, Love, Respect, Career, Relationships and Money: ‘If I were to start all over again with my life today ‘Knowing What I Now Know’ about life, would I still choose the same person/people, career or the way I have done things till yesterday?’ If the answer is NO, then, seek for help urgently.
“Fear not that thy life shall come to an end, but rather that it shall never have a beginning.” John Henry Newman
Veli Ndaba is an Insightful Speaker, Life-Coach and Neuro- Linguistic Programming Practitioner, Author of three books (You Are Born to Win, Your Dream is Calling You and SWITCH ON!), Newspaper Columnist and Entrepreneur. To book him to help you and your team unleash your greatness, contact him on veli@velindaba.com, www.velindaba.com and 083 304 9773. Please also follow Veli on social media: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn.