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Taking Full Responsibility Gives You Full Control!

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But, nothing is as painful as staying stuck where you do not belong” – Mandy Hale
As a society, we are so quick to assign blame and pull out all excuses as to why something did or did not happen. We give away all our power and control when we do this. It is a sad reality that many of us are passive recipients of life and are at the mercy of what happens to us. The truth is that from time to time we become recipients of external forces outside our control, but we have the control over our reactions and responses in what we do and how we handle it.
Let me share with you some valuable steps to take to begin taking full responsibility for your life and snap out of being a victim.
Step 1
Make a conscious decision that you are adopting this new way of thinking (taking full responsibility) no matter what. You may even ask some people you trust to hold you accountable to this commitment. No blaming, complaining, criticising and justifying why something didn’t work, instead say, ‘I did not apply myself enough or I fell short, period.’
Step 2
Pick one thing and decide you are going to respond differently – for example when someone laughs at you for something you didn’t do so well, decide you are going to have a different response. Instead of getting all worked up, just take a deep breath and remind yourself of the ‘WHY’ you did it. Remember that failure gives you the opportunity to begin again more intelligently, said Henry Ford.
Step 3
Put a visual stop sign up in your mind when you feel yourself becoming defensive and ready to blame.
Step 4
Learn to sincerely apologise for something without attaching “and” or “but” to it. “I am sorry I shouted at you, but I couldn’t help it.” The “but” disqualifies the apology. Take full responsibility for the reaction of shouting.
Step 5
Adopt the attitude, “change begins with me.”  Do you remember what Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change that you want to see in the world.”
Step 6
Empower yourself with “I can” and “I will” statements. “I can give this talk.” When you say this the creative juices start flowing and you inject yourself up with positive energy. This helps you think beyond the current situation.
If you are serious about being a person of substance that wants to make a positive contribution to the world, then adopt this new thinking and approach to life. My friend, you are so special and unique. You have gifts and talents far beyond your imagination and you deserve the best that life has to offer.
Veli Ndaba is a Professional and Motivational Speaker, Life-Coach and Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner, Author of two books (You Are Born to Win and Your Dream is Calling You), Newspaper Columnist and Entrepreneur. To book him to help you and your team unleash your greatness, contact him on , and 083 304 9773

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